Vote For Me
Monday, November 08, 2010
Hey everyone. I just wanted to point out that you should totally check out Lacuna Expanse. It's an awesome new browser-based real time strategy game. You can check it out by clicking here.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
Friday, September 19, 2003
Well, I’m on the ballot, in the number 1 slot. Those of you who wish to help me out with a financial contribution are asked to wire money to account 70052 0169684 with ScotiaBank, or mail checks, money orders or other gifts to me at 380 Margaret Ave., Kitchener, ON, N2H 1J8. Please write “campaign contribution” on the outside of the envelope so that I may open it in front of my CFO or a member of my auditing firm’s accounting team. Members of the press or the Kitchener-Waterloo electorate are welcome to contact my on my cell phone at 575-5040.
Thursday, September 11, 2003
Please disregard all infomation on this page. It is all out of date, following the dropping of the WRIT of ELECTION. My campaign account was closed illegally by RBC and I'm now trying to run for office as a pennyless peon.
Monday, August 25, 2003
1) WEEKEND BOX OFFICE ESTIMATE August 22 - 24, 2003 1. FREDDY VS. JASON (NEW LINE).........$13.5 Screens: 3,014 2. S.W.A.T. (SONY).....................$10.8 Screens: 3,014 3. FREAKY FRIDAY (BV)...................$9.4 Screens: 3,204 4. OPEN RANGE (BV)......................$9.4 Screens: 3,058 5. THE MEDALLION (SONY).................$8.2 Screens: 2,163 6. PIRATES OF CARIBBEAN: CURSE... (BV)..$7.3 Screens: 2,648 7. SEABISCUIT (UNIV)....................$6.3 Screens: 2,404 8. AMERICAN WEDDING (UNIV)..............$5.6 Screens: 2,534 9. UPTOWN GIRLS (MGM/UA)................$5.6 Screens: 2,567 10. MY BOSS'S DAUGHTER (MIRAMAX)........$5.0 Screens: 2,495 Full list available Monday afternoon at News Stands Everywhere.
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Allways leave them wanting more. Welcome to NDPWire - the Official Web Site of the Ontario New Democrats
Monday, August 18, 2003
Numerous people have asked why I decided to stop this blog. The reasons are many, but the most pressing is the lack of space on the free blogspot server that means my archives are not being recorded anymore. To that end I've opened up a new private blog, and a private live journal, but have decided that being a daily medium for the the entire world doesn't pay well enough to keep this page going, keep me clothed and fed, and keep my commitments the the populace of Kitchener Centre. Thank you all for taking the time to peruse my digital archives. If you would like to contribute to my campaigns, please wire money to my War Chest at 07682-003-5036959, or mail cheques to Owen Alastair Ferguson, c/o J. Sproat, Mutual Fund Representitive, RBC Inc., 70-74 King St. S., Waterloo, ON, N2J 1N8, Canada.
Ok. Final Post. I mean it this time.
Words of advice for young people.
Idea copyright William S. Burroughs (RIP) and Nova Lark Music. From the Island Music CD "Spare Ass Annie and Other Tales."
People often ask me if I have any words of advice for young people. Here are 25 simple admonitions, arranged in groups of five, to help you understand Candidate Ferguson.
Rules of giving.
1. Give with your right hand.
2. Charity is the holiest form of giving.
3. If asked to give quarter, give a quarter, no more.
4. Charity is not sympathy.
5. Empathy trumps sympathy.
Rules of receiving.
1. Receive with your left hand.
2. Take back only half of what you give.
3. Expect nothing in return.
4. Always read the receipt.
5. As an old junk pusher once told Burroughs, “Watch whos money you pick up.”
Rules of loving.
1. I’d rather do a day's work for a day’s minimum wage paid cash at the end of the day than spend most of my day pretending to work in exchange for a credit card, a bank-owned car and taxed domicile.
2. Don’t mix business and love with anyone you don’t trust.
3. Never get involved in a boy/girl fight.
4. Don’t stand for physical abuse, unless you enjoy that kind of thing.
5. Universal love trumps self love.
Rules of writing.
1. Ignore the writing machina, evoke your soul on the page.
2. Don’t be afraid to play with punctuation.
3. “Freeform” poetry is not poetry. Being neither verse nor rhyme, and lacking the craft of prose, it’s simply egotistical word masturbation.
4. Don’t offer empathy to the mentally ill. Write them firmly “I’m not paid to deal with this drivel You are a terminal fool.”
5. Being a writer is no excuse for being an asshole.
Rules of governing.
1. Do whatever you want when you’re alone.
2. Don’t assume that evoking clauses allows you to trump statements that precede the clauses.
3. Organize staff into groups of three, divisions of four, and decision-making groups of five.
4. Those with families are more fit to govern, while those without are more fit to lead.
5. Good governance implies due diligence.
Saturday, August 16, 2003
A static log cache for the Canmal page. All technical volunteers are encouraged to examine it for signs of user irregularity leading up to the province-wide State of Emergency.
Friday, August 15, 2003
Well, we seem to be back up and online. The best information I can find about the blackout right now is this story. Slashdot | Deregulation and Niagara Mohawk - Is There a Story?
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
It's strange that Eves would choose KW to make an announcement about new police funding, even though Whitmer, ostensibly his deputy, used to be Minister of Health and now new families in KW can't even get referals to new GP's at local hospitals. The Tories have lost touch with what's actually going on in their own ridings, sickened by election fever. It seems that absolut power is corupting the P.C. party absolutly. If selling our helath services to American tourists is the way to keep them from stealing our water, we must maintain at least a basic level of local services in provincial ridings before selling the rights to our provincial budgets to the highest corporate bidder. Finally, using the criminal court system to prevent teachers from legally striking is just a stupid idea, and I have no idea why the "conservatives" are proposing it in their incredibly flashy but incredibly short official party platform .pdf. All electors are encouraged to read all three party platforms before the next provincial election. (All in .pdf, in the order that they're sitting on my desk right now.)NDPP.C. Liberal. That should allow you to cut through all the hype and bombast on the official party sites, and also evaluate the three parties while voting for me as an independent candidate. Remeber: official party candidates have large tech suppot and marketing teams soing all the work for them, and I'm just a lone guy trying to do what's best for the entire KW region.
I've updated my WitchVox link to their main page, rather than directly to the Pagan Military Contacts Page, because WV's servers don't accept direct links to sub-group pages correctly.
This site will now show posts for 30 days on the main page, and then delete them. I believe that this does not qualify as a media under the election finances act, but have yet to ask my expensive lawyer about it. If anyone can recomend a good CPA to advise, idealy someone from within my electoral pool, please e-mail me with the subject header "A good CPA and true." and I'll nominate that CPA as my campaign auditor.
I've dropped some of the archives to save space and save face. I've also switched to a new news format that auto-removes posts after they've left the main page. COS and CFO may contact me at their convenience for blogger admin accounts so they can add and edit posts to this page. Mike, I don't have your correct email address.
All volunteers: Remember that the bast way to keep tabs on your governement is to keep checking up on it. I like to keep check on my rulers every five minutes, at least, so that they can't get away with anything sneakey. CFO: Thanks for your quick thinking the other night on the way back from wresting that hard-won $30 donation from the northern constituancy. I feel a right cad for leaving you alone in the middle of the night, but sometimes the road to righteousness is blocked by large chunks of rock. COS: Please contact me asap, by e-mail or phone.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Sunday, August 10, 2003
Saturday, August 09, 2003
ELECTIONS ONTARIO "Chief Election Officer: John L. Hollins Assistant Chief Election Officer: Loren A. Wells Write: Elections Ontario 51 Rolark Drive Toronto, ON M1R 3B1 Call: (416) 326-6300 or 1-800-677-8683 TTY 1-888-292-2312 Office hours are 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time). Fax: (416) 326-6200 E-mail: General info@electionsontario.on.ca Election Finances Electfin@electionsontario.on.ca Questions or comments about this web site?webmaster@electionsontario.on.ca"
Thursday, August 07, 2003
I have appointed Mike Bowman of the University of Waterloo Students' council to my head of staff position. He has been provided with a proper mace around which student government at the University of Waterloo is to be conducted. I have briefed him in assorted mace lore direct from the Speaker's Office at in Toronto, and directed him to present it pommel out and redacted to the currently sitting executive of that body. Provisions for the creation of the mace were drafted and tabled last year after I delivered my requisite redress to then executive corpus Slomka. A motion to request funding to begin a mace creation fund was quashed on council, for reasons unknown to me, and so I created the requisite device myself. Mr. Bowman has been asked to deliver it and will do so at the next council meeting, and I will expect nothing from the newly sitting house but peace and fidelity while sitting, and clarity while standing. That being so, the mace, an object with an inherent value in the $2000 range, was produced for a mere $100. This should indicate why the house so quickly divided when Mr. Alex Casar attempted to give the campus Torries legless standing on last year's asset/liability audit following our comittiee head's decision that last year's budget was suitable for table. I hear the student-run facilities at Federation Hall will be open in time for new students entering the univeristy this year to enjoy privelage of excercising Charter rights in all FedS establishments. I also hear the food is very good.
As there's been so much discussion about union law in the news recently, I decided to take the UPT so that members of the electoral body know a little more about me, but don't have to subject themselves to my every kink and filthfile.
| Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... | ||
| Category | Your Score | Average |
| Self-Lovin' | 11.7% I wouldn't shake hands, if I were you | 64.8% |
| Shamelessness | 33.3% Puts 'em on the glass | 79.2% |
| Sex Drive | 26.3% I got needs, baby, you gotta unnastan'! | 77.5% |
| Straightness | 28.6% Done the nasty, but not creatively | 44.8% |
| Gayness | 58.9% Had that experience at camp | 83% |
| Fucking Sick | 38.9% Don't look in the basement | 89.7% |
| You are 32.23% pure Average Score: 72.4% | ||
This is a call out to all other potential provincial candidates to be at least this exacting in using language to describe their position on sex/law items.
While I'm curently rendered voiceless after a day of gladhanding, dressing down and promoting officers and generally talking too much, walking too much and listening too little, I'm going to unspool. Those of you who've helped ward my sister, she's somewhat more visually accute than you seem to realize, and I would recomend using the following set of educational flashcards from the University of Indiana archives to help her identify any substances she may have taken leading to her hospitalization. IPRC Drug Photo Menu - IPRC INFOsite Also, anyone young and unexperienced with pill culture and clubbing would be well advised to examine Dance Safe when anticipating long periods of standing, shouting and generally not getting enough food and sleep.
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
As clubs day has just completed, and a host of new members have been added to the mailing list, I thought it might build a little community if were to each pitch in a short bio; in this way, we could get to know each other.
My belief system is reported as enochian, but that’s become just a word I use to answer the thousands of requests I get for a taxonic meme to describe my belief system. I’m nobody’s true-believer, I’m an eclectic believer and a seeker of the true light. My thoughts, on occasion, seem to come out sideways, progressing from some higher source that translates itself through my being, building veves in the whitespace behind the digital moiré of the holographic black text that hovers at the event horizon between empty air and the glass of my aged, flickering CRT.
On the other side of the glass, I’m fairly recognizable. I’m a 23-year old writer with a Bismark beard and rectangular blue titanium optics. I’m technologically inclined, although I wouldn’t consider myself a technophile. I just find working with machines easy. I do occasional contract computer work, ranging from network support to exorcizing glitches. I’m a keen student of the arch between language and the divine, which has lead me enochian, Egyptian, and the sudden realization that Microsoft Word forces you to capitalize the word Christian, but not the word jewish or muslim or hindu or pagan when typing a document. That’s why I like IC – it’s somewhere I can discuss this sort of thing, like the united esoteric nations club.
Anyway, I’m a member of the student’s council and the feds board of directors, I enjoy oil painting. drawing, woodworking, ritual, extreme bathing, dark nights, reflected glances, interesting trees, modifying typewriters, collecting cigar bands, contemplating the tetragrammaton, astral architecture, intelligible women, open fires, sacralicious food, stratospheric travel and fake wood paneling on automobiles.
That’s about it. Some links I visit: canmal.blogspot.com, thetoque.net, uwstudent.org, slashdot.org, infatuation_junkie.blogspot.com, nicky78.blogspot.com, www.textfiles.com.
-o
To the electorate:
I plan to spend all of question period in the house, Monday through Thursday.
I pledge to spend business hours on Fridays in my riding office.
I will put your voice before mine.
CFO: I haven't nominated a chief of staff yet. Here's the red-zone information. Make sure everybody knows this. If you are a Canadina citizen residing in Ontario, and thinking about the upcoming election, please pass this information on.
Day 28 The provincial election is called. Consideration of applications to vote by proxy begins. Applications for Certificates to Vote may be taken. Day 27 The official Notice of Election will have been posted on the internet. Day 24 Target Revision begins in those areas where it is necessary. The official Notice of Election is posted in conspicuous locations throughout the electoral district. Day 22 Advertising by candidates and political parties may begin, as prescribed by the Election Finances Act. Day 21 Candidate nominations open. Day 17 Elections Ontario ads appear in newspapers this week and next week giving dates and locations for advance polls. Target Revision ends. Day 16 All Notice of Registration cards (PDF 308 Kb) are mailed. Day 14 Nomination of Candidates (PDF 28Kb) closes at 2 p.m. in the office of the Returning Officer. Day 13 If you haven't received your Notice of Registration card (PDF 308 Kb) by now, your name may not be on the Voters List. Contact the Returning Officer in your electoral district. Day 12 Advance poll voting in the office of the electoral district Returning Officer from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. The Notice to Voters is posted in conspicuous locations throughout the electoral district. Day 10 Advance poll voting in the office of the electoral district Returning Officer from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Day 9 Advance poll voting in the office of the electoral district Returning Officer from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Day 8 Advance poll voting in the office of the electoral district Returning Officer and at various locations in the electoral district from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Day 7 Advance poll voting in the office of the electoral district Returning Officer and at various locations in the electoral district from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Day 6 Advance poll voting in the office of the electoral district Returning Officer and at various locations in the electoral district from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Day 5 Elections Ontario ads begin to run in the media providing information on how to register to vote at the poll on Election Day. Day 2 Blackout begins on media advertising by political parties and candidates, as prescribed by the Election Finances Act – except in weekly publications which normally publish on a Wednesday. Day 1 Certificates to Vote are issued until 8 p.m. Applications to vote by proxy are considered until 8 p.m. If you are not on the Voters List and have not obtained a Certificate to Vote, you can register to vote at the poll on Election Day as long as you provide the appropriate identification. POLLING DAY Polls are open from 9 a.m. until 8 p.m. The location of your poll is provided on your Notice of Registration card (PDF 308 Kb) or on your Certificates to Vote. If you don't know where you should go to vote, contact your electoral district Returning Officer. If you are not on the Voters List and have not obtained a Certificate to Vote, you can register to vote at the poll on Election Day as long as you provide the appropriate identification.
Ontario Conservation Area Admission Fees
Seasonal Walk-in Pass Over 14 years of age $40.00 Child (ages 6 to 14) $15.00 Vehicle Season's Pass 1st Vehicle $90.00 2nd Vehicle $50.00 Camping Reservations Reservation Fee $9.00 Camping Fees Unserviced Site - Byng, Rockwood & Elora $24.00 Serviced Site - Byng, Rockwood & Elora $28.00 Unserviced Site - Brant, Conestogo, Guelph, Laurel & Pinehurst $23.00 Serviced Site - Brant, Conestogo, Guelph, Laurel & Pinehurst $27.00 Additional Vehicle Fee (Overnight) $8.00 Note: Rate per unit per day with one vehicle. Season Pass Discount $7.00.
Poetry arises in the strangest of places
THUGSTOOLS - Thug weapons PROFESSIONALTOOLS - Professional weapons NUTTERTOOLS - Weird weapons PRECIOUSPROTECTION - Full armor ASPIRINE - Full health (visible effects of the damage on your car will still exist) YOUWONTTAKEMEALIVE - Raise wanted level LEAVEMEALONE - Lower wanted level APLEASANTDAY - Nice weather ALOVELYDAY - Great weather ABITDRIEG - Cloudy weather CATSANDDOGS - Rainy weather CANTSEEATHING - Foggy weather LIFEISPASSINGMEBY - Speed up time BIGBANG - Destroy all cars STILLLIKEDRESSINGUP - Cycle pedestrian costumes FIGHTFIGHTFIGHT - Pedestrians riot NOBODYLIKESME - Pedestrians attack you OURGODGIVENRIGHTTOBEARARMS - Pedestrians have weapons ONSPEED - Walk faster BOOOOOORING - Walk slower WHEELSAREALLINEED - Strip cars (cars become wheels) COMEFLYWITHME - Flying dodo cars (you won't be able to fly a helicopter correctly) ICANTTAKEITANYMORE - Suicide GREENLIGHT - Set all traffic lights to green MIAMITRAFFIC - Fast traffic TRAVELINSTYLE - Flying car PANZER - Spawn a tank THELASTRIDE - Spawn a casket-car ROCKANDROLLCAR - Spawn a limo RUBBISHCAR - Spawn a garbage truck GETTHEREFAST - Spawn a sabre turbo BETTERTHANWALKING - Spawn a Caddy LOOKLIKELANCE - Lance skin MYSONISALAWYER - Lawyer skin ILOOKLIKEHILARY - Hilary skin ROCKANDROLLMAN - Rock 'n' roll skin ONEARMEDBANDIT - One armed bandit skin IDONTHAVETHEMONEYSONNY - Mafiosi skin FOXYLITTLETHING - Mafiosi daughter skin WELOVEOURDICK - Scottish skin GETTHEREQUICKLY - Fast car GETTHEREVERYFASTINDEED - Faster car GETTHEREAMAZINGLYFAST - Even faster car FANNYMAGNET - Tommy groupies (aim your gun at someone and they will attack your target) CHEATSHAVEBEENCRACKED - Ricardo Diaz skin CERTAINDEATH - Tommy starts smoking CHICKSWITHGUNS - Bikini women with guns (they will drop guns when they are killed) IWANTITPAINTEDBLACK - Black traffic MIAMITRAFFIC - Heavy traffic SEAWAYS - Cars float on water GRIPISEVERYTHING - Improved Car Handling AHAIRDRESSERSCAR - Pink Cars CHASESTAT - See Wanted Stats DEEPFRIEDMARSBARS - Tommy is fatter LOADSOFLITTLETHINGS - Change wheel size PROGRAMMER - Tommy has thin arms and legs HOPINGIRL - Pedestrians enter your car AIRSHIP - Reguard target
Lance's wedding directions 1. Start on MARGARET AVE 0.5 2. Continue on LOUISA ST 0.0 3. Continue on MARGARET AVE 0.2 4. Turn Left on VICTORIA ST N 3.7 5. Continue on ON-7 8.2 6. Continue on WOODLAWN RD W 1.5 7. Continue on WOODLAWN RD E 1.2 8. Turn Right on VICTORIA RD N 0.6 9. Turn Left on SPEEDVALE AVE E 0.3 10. Bear Left on ERAMOSA RD 0.3 11. Continue on COUNTY ROAD 124 15.3 12. Continue on COUNTY ROAD 124/WELLINGTON RD 0.9 13. Turn Left on COUNTY ROAD 124/MAIN ST 1.5 14. Bear Right on COUNTY ROAD 124/WELLINGTON RD 0.8 15. Continue on COUNTY ROAD 124 1.0 16. Continue on CHARLESTON SIDE RD/REGIONAL ROAD 24 4.7 17. Continue on 15TH SIDE RD/REGIONAL ROAD 24 0.4 18. Continue on 15TH SIDE RD 0.4 19. Continue on CHARLESTON SIDE RD 4.7 20. Turn Left on AIRPORT RD 1.1 21. Turn Right on COOLIHANS 2.7 22. Turn Right on ON-9 17.9 Distance: 68.0 miles Approximate Travel Time: 1 hour 40 mins
No wonder we got lost.
Woah!
Looking for work?
Employment agencies in KW (there could be more, but this will help).
Agency: Applicants Inc. 41 River Road East, Unit 6 Kitchener
Agency: Conestoga Personnel Resources Inc. 421 Greenbrook Drive Kitchener
Agency: Express personelle services. 50 Queen Street North, Suite 704 The Commerce House, Kitchener
Agency: Kelly Services 101 Frederick Street Scott Tower Kitchener
Agency :Todays 22 Frederick Street Suite 100 Kitchener
Agency: TechHi Consultants Limited 22 Frederick Street, Suite 200 Kitchener
Agency: Wellington Partners International Inc. 508 Riverbend Dr., Suite 302 Kitchener
Agency: Prior Resource Group 50 Queen St., N., Suite 120 Kitchener
Agency: Adecco 73 King St. W. Kitchener, ON N2G1A7
Agency: Trebor Personelle inc. 276 King St. W. Suite 305 Kitchener
Agency: Procom 405 King Street North - Suite 106 Waterloo
Agency: KPMG
Marsland Centre
Suite 300
20 Erb Street West
Waterloo
Warmages, be ye not free of faith.
There are points of origin in the universe, surounded by the resultant corporeal bodies of planets and stars, and there are points of termination, or black holes, into which creation is decreated.
Human souls are points in time along colections of vectors tracing paths from origin points to termination points, points in time that occur at a generally agreed upon frequency.
Monday, August 04, 2003
Chief of staff: Please direct all crowd control peronelle to this Distributed Protest Density Calculator for New York during Emergency Response Team building colapse training schedule. Also, remind them that the greatest lesson learned on 9/11 was that pairs of knowledgeable people must work in tandem to prevent excessive body debt during times of tragedy. Direct them to the 3-part series in Atlantic Monthly for case studies in on-site rescue team dynamics. Let's all pledge ourselves to no more innocent or accidental deaths, ever.
Here is a brief flashmobbing tutorial for the campaign team. Click Here. Chief of staff: please forward to entire street team when you have a chance. Thanks in advance, -Owen
Click here to access an adobe PDF file that will allow you to print out a copy of Health Canada's official information sheet for mediacal users of Cannabis. I'm not sure how simmilar this digital version is to the report tabled by Sen. LeDain, but it's the most accurate information on official Health Canada policy that I can locate in electronic form.
Found this the other day. Reminds me of my life before I saw the movie "Office Space." Mike Judge is a genius. Album: the Dilbert Hole.
The famous monday five.
10. Average Income $40K-80K 9. Annual Conventions 8. Monthly Bonuses 7. Management Opportunities 6. Rapid Advancement 5. Flexible Hours 4. Qualified Leads 3. Full Training and Support 2. 1st year Renewals
Just added the french acronym for http://www.ca to the bottom of the site and corrected some minor formatting details (a missing carriage return HTML command code). I think I've become so concerned about what I post here that I'm generating the most boring blog ever, but that's not really a concern. Blogging is about being aware that the whole world watches everything you do. It's sort of like imagining reality itself as a physical godform.
Sunday, August 03, 2003
Lexical FreeNet is very cool if you like to write or rap. Mmm - nothing like a hotdog vindaloo sandwitch.
And there you have it. The completely re-designed, easier to use, easier to read, faster-loading, less colourful, more organized me. I droped my intention to graduate form off at the U of W regristrar's office on Thurs. I'll be recieving an Honours Tripple Major Bachelor of Independent Studies, with unofficial minors in the history of magic, computational data theory and creative writing, and a diploma in forensic pathology.
Ok, I've made the whole site more linear in response to a number of requests. The transition to the new blogger/google paradigm is complete. Per/post commenting and running comentary are functioning at a beta level, archive and external links have been moved to the end of the document, as have links to support services. The page page is working, and I'm just about through with today's edits.
I think that spending all day at the concert with little water may have lead to the development of a nephrolithiasis in my left ureter. I've put myself on a short course of clean watter and antibiotics, and am going to monitor the situation (ocasional shooting pain in my lower front-left abdomen) for the next couple of days before increasing the stress on our already overburdened and underfunded health system. The other possibility is that I got nailed with a low sucker punch at the concert and didn't notice it at the time. Further news as things develop.
Well, I've got the archives well transitioned, but I can't get the coments working anywhere other than the page page. Oh well. Enough for tonight.
Lots of news. The page page is up and running well, with coments implementd (link is to the left). The lesser incarnation of ganesh has been peacefully banished from the domicile. My house droid's MSN-broadcast capabilities have been upgraded to include live video and audio capture, live transmission to any MSN messenger user with XP, live redistribution of an incoming coaxial NSTC stream to MSN videophone technology and external networkstorm fractal-based infinity technology. Forget alien gear. I built this one from the gound up, with nothing but off-the-shelf consumer technology. Tremble before the fury of ganesh in the elephant form, because we're about to take off on one hell of a trip. In family news my sister Erica is in the hospital again, so please dierect any spare prayer routines her way.
Friday, August 01, 2003
Here are some of the ways people have found themselves on my corner of the web.
Last 20 Searchengine Queries Unique Visitors
19 Mar, Wed, 19:32:21 Google: rocklyn academy
27 Mar, Thu, 23:09:08 Google: "nuclear power satellite"
21 May, Wed, 03:13:23 Yahoo: "blogspot" blow job
17 Jul, Thu, 22:01:37 MSN Search: MURIC ACID
20 Jul, Sun, 13:16:17 Yahoo: muric acid
20 Jul, Sun, 20:33:45 Yahoo: snorting piracetam
21 Jul, Mon, 17:56:01 Google: Canadian 222's
23 Jul, Wed, 09:10:36 Yahoo: how many vertibra in a human spine
23 Jul, Wed, 15:51:06 MSN Search: alpha methyl triptamine
24 Jul, Thu, 00:58:26 MSN Search: 222's
26 Jul, Sat, 01:59:58 MSN Search: ephadrine
27 Jul, Sun, 22:50:05 Google: "muric acid" toilet
27 Jul, Sun, 23:37:45 Yahoo: alpha methyl triptamine
29 Jul, Tue, 02:29:59 Google: dash dash blogspot
01 Aug, Fri, 02:56:34 Yahoo: alpha methyl triptamine
CanMal's usage statistics are accessable at the bottom of the page.
A little something from The Archives:
:: Wednesday, October 02, 2002 ::
Forget love. Forget money and power. Forget the alphabet and Agamemnon. Forget genesis and the apocalypse. Forget crayons and coca cola, pepsi and pizza. Forget uno and chess and checkers and backgammon; solitaire and poker and strip poker. Forget jesus and mantra and krishna and buddah. Forget the internet and telephones and telegrams. Forget sex and drugs and violence and rock and roll. Forget brahms and beethoven. Forget the masons and the illuminati, JFK and the space race. Forget nuclear winter and indian summer. Forget truth and freedom and virtue. Forget democracy and responsibility. Forget prohibition and rotting in prison. Forget keys and locks, doors, bars and gates.
:: Owen Ferguson 1:44 PM [+] ::
Thursday, July 31, 2003
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
[ Wed Nov 13, 08:21:50 PM | Owen Ferguson | edit ] [So Am I using you to edit me or me to edit you?] The City. Ancient beachhead. [A] Metro astral network. Traffic corridors pulsate through logic gates of amber stoplights. Wet reflection on weathered tarmac. Binary[-]gre[a]y moir� of pointillist mist wisps. [The Armadillo Steak House;] Broiling Texas steakhouse; the fire sign. The waiter is American-style-friendly. [A] The clerk�s fa�ade. A terminal looser[. ] [W]with nine years in the service gulag. The Cocaine Lady [, a good drink to test the bartender with,] is delivered with studied seething. [rare] Oversized western steaks. Symbol[s] of the great grain empire. Centre still raw, bloody to the touch. Orgasmic meat flap feast [that�s what the crazy frickin� bootleg game-cube tie-in product is called]. �Eat raw meat an you can mate. Your offspring will have more meat flaps.� It�s a fight for survival in the stone downtown.[(8//8)]
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
So where are we? Who are "we" for that matter? Audience and performer disolve in this realm, slowly, over time, charge on tape or platter dissipating in the general pro-entropic timeflow. A thousand candles melt, a thousands prayers reach the "in" boxes of the god complex's lower bureaus. Assistants shuffle yellow legal pads and binders full of pounds of 8.5"x11" white copy paper like hindus dancing to illustrate yurgas. The courtroom is the shape of a golden rectangle extruded along a chronpath that traces the vertical circumference of a super egg. The path is bidirectional in any court room, as it always is in any courtroom anywhere, dependong on where you project malkuth: in the mind of the judge, or the mass of the audience. The jury:prosecutor:defence:defendant is irrelevant, as the matter between the two possible projections must remain civil. This is the paradox of criminal court.
Sunday, July 13, 2003
Friday, July 04, 2003
[ Sat Aug 17, 11:26:27 AM | Owen Ferguson | edit ] Collapse! The bridge gave way at 5am, while traffic was light. Later, it was determined that the problem was an insufficient amount of riff-raff buffeting the pylons from the oncoming current. The morning the findings were made official, the engineer of record on the project kissed his wife and two children goodbye, drove to work in his mid-priced late-model sedan, and shot himself in the bathroom with that .45
Monday, June 23, 2003
Blogs are spine. Blogs are artificail vertibra. Blogs are not real words are spew from open wound in culture carapace. Bolds defy gravity of grammar in deeper calcitrated urethra. Crystal crust of potential smell liquisolid in skyscraper thistles around peeholes. Pe-poles. are part of cube-defined plains-dweller non-conscriptual feng-sui of LCD projectors aranged in three-dimensional utriquadhangular patterns of force-feedback distances. I'm in my bubble now.
Sunday, June 22, 2003
I'm finding it harder to just write and not read and re-read even though I'm still refusing to edit. Is this all about control? I don't want to answer that without looking away from the keyboard. I don't know if this is slower or not. Of course it's slower, It also makes you think more, That's the way the keyboard turns into a time machine. It links the brain with typewriter conciousness. Use your hands to reach out rust and oil lines to all attendant functional type-display units.
So I�m using Word to write this. Word the trade mark. Microsoftualmark of the writer. Co-opted by the corporate copulation compilation machine. Machine sigil inscribed in binary codes of metal cylinders planted in rows as the stem cells crystallize calcites of bone china. Empty body left black like the vacuum hole in television tube rear exit port for hot exchange gases. All language is fake, projected into your head through a fluid ring of bending probability nets. The nets themselves contain super strings of heavy and weak loads. Feel the solar wind of time packets unite with other starfall energy interpolators and metamorph into immediately locatable tangibilties.
Saturday, June 21, 2003
And so have I set my self free? Am I now just the robot? Most of the time, I have absolutly no idea what to do.
See the fnord? See the cradle? Carbon-carbon sugar simplex disolves in my sublingual enzymes - time disolves in carbo-burn fires as the acid-acid reflux pounds. Lesbian nurses teach aging blue-collar devils how to milk their own prostates. The cake cold and hot, sweet and sour and bitter with the ashtray burns of the colapsed extending slef. Doubt creeps around the corners like a skill-killer. Does blogging debase the purity of a writer's essence? Does offering your only skill to all for free negate its value? I don't think so, but them I'm not really writing that well for you vultures either. This is the black diary, the perversion of the self through hourglass lensed hologram projectors, the spatioal graphic representation of post-verbal thought. The hole in the soul that lets the light shine through. The kind of writing that hurts to produce. The empty kind. The post-human kind. The "dot-dot-dot-dash-dash-dash-dot-dot-dot" of a culture now four hundred billion years dead finally crackling down through our petty eletronic ears. The future has already happened on another planet. The future can only happen on another planet. The futures are lying to us, trying to talk a good game, trying to .... trying to something.
Monday, June 16, 2003
More autoexorcism. Six headed beasts. Empty dead babies. The final death groan of the new roman empire sounds like a thousand birds chirping. The empire sucks saudi oil frm pockmarks in the ground like black puss through steel straws, out through aluminum veins, out out out into suburban tanks and urban compacts, buring the liquified flesh of dinosaus, or nephalime, exuding the smog of evil deth coruption stink fart. Out come the demosn, freed to walk the earth in billious clouds of cancer foam. Fog of death, fog of war, the crushing, choking, inebeating high blue burning oil note of death rythum, the kali-dance, the shiva-dance, a thousand legs move lockstep through preodrained positions, tracning out black scripture in hebefrentic shorthand. Apocalypse writing in dusty footprints, wavelength mixing of oil rinbow light patterns, dead poets sould rot in heaps while binary coding taxonomies the language virus into crystal structures of emotion-free pure communication. The word virus propogates sex word/death word, sex word/death word, sex word/death word.
Saturday, June 14, 2003
Lucidril and Piracetam, Tylenol 3's and 222's. Morphine, angelica and 13x salvia extract. Cocain and marijuana in all its wonderful strains. Dextroamphetamines and methamphetamines and white trash nights snorting ephadrine. LSD-25 and alpha-methyl-triptamine. DXM in pills and powders, candies, syrups and ammonia coctails. 5-methoxy-DMT and windex-laced mushrooms. Nutmeg and banana peels and novacain. Prison punch and ecstasy, safron cigarettes and absinthe. Ritalin and cerax and epival and risperidol and monopril. So many hours wasted waiting for you.
The internet is the death of profit writing as we know it. Writers never sold their words - they were just whores for the pulp and paper industry. Now the ephemera of writing is gone, and all the truly origional work is being done in bitspace.
So where do we go from here? Into space on the dead wet dreams of later-day mother-humping alchemist who let himself be screwed over by the very first scientologist? Or do we project inwards, destroy the flesh frame, enter the realm of liquid subjectivity like a slushy explosion of blood and fecal matter slucing down the toilet drian of a quantum singularity?
I hate the gift. I refuse to accept the gift of writing. My ego thinks the word a gift, and not a curse, and inexorcizable aspect of the current human condition. The word is a curse from god.
I'm trying to play the burroughs game. Just write the most horrible and disgusting vision you can conjure as a form of autoexorcism. Writing is a human need like shitting and fucking. But it's past the cusp and doubling back at us from the devine, like black magicians eating feces - why write black magicians eating feces when I can simply write the most horrible and disgusting vision you can conjure? Imagine evil. Imagine horror and faustian ego. Imagine tendrils and spike and cancer and deformation, humans flayed alive and taned like deer skin in the streeds of doomed metropoli. Envision petty bickering gods raining phallic helfire on fields of food, poisoning the water supply with compound chemichals that make you bleed from your ass and eye sockets, dumptrucks full of newborn babies dumping their cargo into high-torqe wood chippers. Government agents boring drilholes into adolescent skulls and pouring in muric acid to disolve the living brain, producing a nation of myopic sex puppets. Construct mental landscapes of abortion tools, blunt hooks for snapping the fteal necks of half-formed monsters, Curved and bladed tension wrenches for crushing malformed skulls. Empty syringes pricking tiny holes in soiled condoms. Electroshock therapy administered by men who face financial ruin if the don't keep you placated. Feti served on white house china. How can we enjoy life anymore? This is the world we live in, so old and sick and evil that the last hope for salvation died a hundred times before you were even born.
To edit is mastrubation, is the ego claiming undeserved ownership of the word. The word exist free and true, independent of the writer, independent of all writers, preexisting the concept of writing. Once you have the word the word is writing. Writing precedes the word and the word preceds writing. Both concepts require the prexistance of both concepts.
What becomes of the writer in the digital age? Everyone has free and open access to all the word lines. There is no more control structure. The act of writing becomes profitless. Words are coded into etherial post-post-reality. No more pay for structured word virus. The writer writes not for pay, but because of the compassion to write. It's a lame con for assholes with too much knowledge and not enough wisdom or craft. The word is not a job. It is the rejection of the job system. It is the pursuit of noncorporeal being. It is the desire to remove oneself from the confines of the reality structure by symbolic transubstantiation. The word is word is free. Welcome to the word.
: Stats c/o 